Few of my favourite quotes...

"Life is like a box of choclates. You never know what you get" (Courtesy : adorable Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump)

"True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare, while false friends are like autumn leaves found everywhere" (Courtesy : "thought for the day, scribbled in a juvenile handwriting on the blackboard, for the Moral Science class, circa 1998)

"A man's face is his autobiagraphy. A woman's face is her work of fiction" (Masterstroke Courtesy : Oscar Wilde. Political correctness can go out of the window, but I agree whole-heartedly with this one!)

"The elevator to success might be out of order, but the stairs are always open" (doodled in S's mathematics notebook)

Feminism

While indulging in some compulsive remote-control politics, we chanced upon “We the people” on NDTV. The topic of discussion was “Does India need feminism?”. ‘A’ and me decided to settle for it, albeit a bit consciously and uncomfortably. After all, it’s not the best idea to watch gender-centric debates, especially when opinions firmly reside in opposite camps. However, we had our own reasons to watch the programme. 'A' wanted to watch it for his thinly veiled reasons (which male would miss a chance to sneer and scoff at those “rabble-rousing” feminists....they’re responsible for half the strife in the male universe after all!)...I wanted to watch it for reasons aplenty – 1) finally some intellectual stimulation on television; after Ekta Kapoor’s remorseless onslaught of mind numbing “krap”, my mind deserved a cerebral excursion (far from the scheming saas, sycophant sasur, saccharine bahu and spineless pati) 2) would help me wean off Friends for a while (after a run, re-run and a run of the re-run, my therapist suggested some desperate measures might be needed to get over the addiction!) 3) really want to see what “thorny” issues does Shefali Jariwala (of the Kaanta Laga fame ) wants to discuss on the panel 4) should be the real fun to see ‘A’s embarrassed face when feminists start criticizing the nincompoop men!

The debate which meandered from the abstruse (definition of feminism?) to the banal (women’s reservation bill), threw a couple of great insights

• Why does Indian television churn out such disturbing and convoluted images of women? Progressive women (of boardroom material), are scheming, frustrated and utterly lonely. Their happier counterparts are sadly stuck in the dark ages. Their life revolves around mummyji, papaji and "aji sunte ho". The characters come custom made in black or white. Reason - Since when does the "discerning" audience need shades of grey? So while the "white" characters stay squeaky clean, even after character assassinations by evil forces, the "black" ones stay ugly, even after haloed cleansing rituals are performed on them!! Wow....wish real life was that simple...and we were not as complex and layered as these simplistic buffoons!

• Why do parents want their daughters to morph into modern day parvatis (not the Hindu goddess silly, but the “model” daughter-in-law from the dreary soap) on the eve of D-day? I couldn’t agree more with this argument – Always indulged with giddying doses of love, pampering and affection, I was never led to believe that I lived in a world ridden with gender biases.....er....till the suitors came along.....Things around me started changing fast.....attitudes changed (“we don’t live in an equal world sweetheart”)....magically, even beliefs changed (“no such thing as companionship honey, hamare yahaan marriage is about compromises....about sacrifices)....pyaar vyaar can go out of the window....and compatibility – “woh kya cheez hoti hai?”.....I was made to feel guilty for placing importance on some ludicrous intangibles; something which could not be measured by well-respected yardsticks.....The whole process left me confused, isolated and terribly disoriented....like a sapling uprooted from its familiar surroundings and re-planted in an inhospitable terrain....So anyways, this introspection leads me back to the burning question – “why do parents want their daughters to morph into modern day parvatis?”.....and is this even possible, within the relevant context of modern urban sensibilities?......I certainly couldn’t achieve it, not after all these years of mental conditioning, for I mistook the token gestures of gender equality as actual “empowerment”.

• Why do some women persist with their crab mentality, pulling their progressive counterparts to the bottom of the heap? This is something which has bothered me for a long time. However, Shabana Azmi made a very valid statement, which stayed with me for a long time. She stated that we should not use the crutches of such sweeping statements....instead understand the reasons which run deeper....according to her the patriarchal system, a gender-based dysfunctional system, has been so deeply-ingrained into the Indian psyche, that it is impossible for the disempowered women to distance themselves from it....and hence it becomes difficult for such women to empower the next generation....so true and yet so tragic....

Musings for the day....

Why do people perpetuate their misery? Are they too scared to explore the unknown, stepping outside their zone of familiarity?

Nasally Yours

In an industry where genuine talent finds it hard to stay afloat, a nasally endowed and artistically challenged singer is driving many out of business. Contemporaries, unceremoniously nudged out of the limelight, are busy licking their wounds. Critics and fortune-tellers, who predicted a humbling downfall, are scratching their heads in wonderment. Talent brokers and music patrons have “gone to the mattresses”. All this while the “aam junta” and ear specialists are going delirious with delight, for reasons best known to them.

So what explains the phenomenon that is Himesh Reshammiya? I reckon it is the immense self-belief and brazen self-confidence. I also reckon that this confidence and self-assuredness is here to stay.

So bring out the cotton swabs guys, before my ears succumb to some mysterious musical infection!

I believe.........

To someone observing from a distance, my life seemed picture perfect. Physical and material comforts and a cushioned existence in a joint-family set up. However my life wasn't a bed of roses. From the beginning I knew I was different. I had a propensity to rebel against the dictates of prescribed social behavior, and a daring ability to question the "rules". While my fellow mates from Venus were busy fitting the their gender roles to perfection, I stubbornly rejected the stereotypes. Survival of a fiery and independent minded female in a rigid patriarchal set-up was extremely tough. Till much later, I never knew the direction in which I wanted to steer my life. However, I did know that I would use the rudder of conviction to keep me sailing. I also knew that I would never relinquish or surrender my decision making powers to someone else. For me that seemed almost inconceivable.

Even today, some label me as an anti-thesis of homegrown values...but this doesn't faze me. To me, I am more desi than Daalda Vanaspati Ghee. However, with the earthy desiness is bundled a strong sense of independence.

Too bad if others can't digest it!!!