Voices

Have you sometimes wondered why silence can be deafening? I have been probing for this answer in the deepest recess of my mind for the past few days, and today is just one of them.

It's one of those days at work (a Mundane Monday to be precise), when the afternoon laze has descended upon us, and the only sound which threatens to break the silence is the mindless droning of the keyboard...The isolated voice in my head, freshly hatched from the idle hour, turns into an incoherent murmuring...Fratured thoughts provide more ammunition to the murmurings which turn into loud whispers..Once these receive the acknowledgement of the wandering mind, they gain enough momemtum to degenerate into mindless cacophony.....By now the jangle in my head is loud enough to be heard by my workstation neighbour...half-embarrassed and half-amused, I shoot a furtive glance in his direction to make sure that he didn't hear it, or even if he did, at least masked it with indifference.....

That's when the elusive answer strikes me, like the obvious waiting to be discovered; silence is deafening when the turbulence inside snowballs to such an incredible extent, that it threatens to break into the sanctuary of the surrounding calm

Destination GMAT!

It's the 18th of April, 2007. With a May 17th date for the GMAT exam, my adrenalin levels are at an all-time high.

Waiting evokes silly sentiments in different people. However, I am savoring every moment of this process, a tad bit more than my liking. For my sake, I sincerely hope that complacency hasn't crept in. Ironically, the mock tests haven't given me much reason to be laid-back. Even though accuracy is at an all-time high (just benchmarking me against me here!), time management is floundering. GMAT mock tests have been nothing short of shock-therapy. With each successive test has come a rude awakening; a realization that I might not be able to break into the elite, 700+ club.

Had I been a school-going teenager, these "mock challenges" would have demoralized me to an appalling extent. No more. It's not that I have transformed into an unflappable individual, unmoved by failings and challenges; in fact far from it. Neither have the stakes become lesser. It's just that I have been able to cultivate, albeit slowly, the rational seeds of detachment. Wish I can sincerely walk the tightrope between "rational detachment" and "measured involvement".

I have been wading through the stages of preparation comfortably over the past couple of weeks. Although I must confess that I hate being checkmated by SC (Sentence Correction for the uninitiated). They stump me. However, this too shall pass. I feel I am putting an honest effort. And in the end that does pay off...doesn't it?

Time alone will tell...